choose people who choose you.
This morning I was standing at the train station, waiting for its arrival, and as I scrolled through Instagram, a post caught my eye and stilled my breath: "choose people who choose you." Sounds easy enough, but it's been one of the hardest things I've been led to learn.
As someone who has a heart that is intense, outpouring and relentless, I instinctively think with my emotions, and never with my logic. To consider any form of rationale or reasoning, it takes for me to hear it from someone else, or to consciously stop and ask myself, "what is your head saying right now?" My heart shouts so fiercely and so loudly, that my head never even has a chance of a look-in. Having a heart that feels, that loves and that hurts so easily and so fully is what, I think, makes me successful in all of my life roles: a teacher, a wife, a friend, a Christian, and, quite simply, a person of this broken and yet totally beautiful world.
Bottom line: I want other people who have all-feeling hearts to know this too. Your heart, and all its flaws, is part of what makes you successful and totally worthy. You might spend your days choosing someone over and over and over again. You might fight until you're on your knees with exhaustion, unsure of the next right step, but unless that person is choosing you, your fight will prove fruitless. That's not to say that you should not love them, or want nothing but love and happiness for them, it's just to say that maybe they are not for you.
I once read a saying "don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for you." And I'm here to call BS on that. Do cross oceans, climb mountains, scale cliff-fronts, do love without abandon, do carry burdens, do pray for their happiness...just know when the most loving thing is to step away.
Be it friend, family, spouse or soulmate, we will all find someone, someday, who our love won't be too much for. They won't stand and wade gingerly at the shores of your love, they will dive right into the depths and meet you in the thick of it. Thankfully, I married a man who dives into the depths of mine every single day.
Love wins.
As someone who has a heart that is intense, outpouring and relentless, I instinctively think with my emotions, and never with my logic. To consider any form of rationale or reasoning, it takes for me to hear it from someone else, or to consciously stop and ask myself, "what is your head saying right now?" My heart shouts so fiercely and so loudly, that my head never even has a chance of a look-in. Having a heart that feels, that loves and that hurts so easily and so fully is what, I think, makes me successful in all of my life roles: a teacher, a wife, a friend, a Christian, and, quite simply, a person of this broken and yet totally beautiful world.
Bottom line: I want other people who have all-feeling hearts to know this too. Your heart, and all its flaws, is part of what makes you successful and totally worthy. You might spend your days choosing someone over and over and over again. You might fight until you're on your knees with exhaustion, unsure of the next right step, but unless that person is choosing you, your fight will prove fruitless. That's not to say that you should not love them, or want nothing but love and happiness for them, it's just to say that maybe they are not for you.
I once read a saying "don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for you." And I'm here to call BS on that. Do cross oceans, climb mountains, scale cliff-fronts, do love without abandon, do carry burdens, do pray for their happiness...just know when the most loving thing is to step away.
Be it friend, family, spouse or soulmate, we will all find someone, someday, who our love won't be too much for. They won't stand and wade gingerly at the shores of your love, they will dive right into the depths and meet you in the thick of it. Thankfully, I married a man who dives into the depths of mine every single day.
Love wins.
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