an outpouring of heartbreak.
Almost all of my blogposts are teeming with positivity and love, because that's where I find the most light. And, I truly believe that love and light should be shared with others; always, no exceptions. In saying that, I also believe that truth and burdens should be shared. So this blog post is a very honest indication of the frustration, the anger, the disappointment, and the total heartbreak that both my husband and I have gone through, to this point, in our more-than-two-years adoption battle. And we haven't even truly begun the process yet.
Goal: to adopt and love on Thai children, whilst living in Thailand, and to bring them up in their own environment.
Obstacle: we come from New Zealand.
It's as simple as that.
To this day, New Zealand remains one of the most (if not the most) difficult countries to work with for domestic adoption, while living overseas. In fact, to our knowledge, no New Zealander has successfully completed the legal process to adopt Thai children, whilst living in Thailand. And not for lack of trying either. In fact, all was going well in our interview with the Thai Adoption Office.....until they found out we are from New Zealand. Based on what they had experienced in the past, in trying to work with the New Zealand government, they turned us away. I won't get into the semantics or the politics of the process. But, I will say this: as citizens of New Zealand, we are feeling totally unsupported by that country.
It is coming up three years that we have been trying to get our application complete. There is just one piece of paper that is missing - the one and only piece of paper required of the New Zealand government. The tears, the pleading, the begging, the questioning, the phone calls, the flights across the seas to fight for a piece of paper, the prayers, the conversations and, at times, the cussing, have all been countless. The fight has grown. We are no longer fighting for a piece of paper, we are fighting for love for all. Because everyone deserves to be loved.
Despite the number of setbacks we have faced, we have not once considered giving up on this, and nor will we. We will not stop fighting to make this process possible for us, and for other New Zealanders, so that the parentless children of Thailand have a chance to be parented, loved and welcomed into a family.
In amongst all of this negativity and heartbreak, there is beauty, of course. And the most beautiful thing is this: I somehow love a child that I've never even met, nor that I even think exists on this earth yet. And still, I love them so fiercely, that I am willing to fight harder for them than I've ever fought for anything in my life. And when we finally get to meet that child, we will be able to turn to them and say, "we loved you before we even met you, before we even knew your face or your name. We even loved the hope of you." (Note to self: start practicing this in Thai).
And we will be able to honestly and genuinely tell them that they didn't come to us by chance - they came to us by choice. We chose to fight for them, we chose to fall in love with a hope that at times seemed hopeless, and we chose to continue with that fight and that hope, every single day. We chose them, and will continue to choose them, in all of the days to come.
We love you already, sweet child. We have a fire in our bellies for you.
Goal: to adopt and love on Thai children, whilst living in Thailand, and to bring them up in their own environment.
Obstacle: we come from New Zealand.
It's as simple as that.
To this day, New Zealand remains one of the most (if not the most) difficult countries to work with for domestic adoption, while living overseas. In fact, to our knowledge, no New Zealander has successfully completed the legal process to adopt Thai children, whilst living in Thailand. And not for lack of trying either. In fact, all was going well in our interview with the Thai Adoption Office.....until they found out we are from New Zealand. Based on what they had experienced in the past, in trying to work with the New Zealand government, they turned us away. I won't get into the semantics or the politics of the process. But, I will say this: as citizens of New Zealand, we are feeling totally unsupported by that country.
It is coming up three years that we have been trying to get our application complete. There is just one piece of paper that is missing - the one and only piece of paper required of the New Zealand government. The tears, the pleading, the begging, the questioning, the phone calls, the flights across the seas to fight for a piece of paper, the prayers, the conversations and, at times, the cussing, have all been countless. The fight has grown. We are no longer fighting for a piece of paper, we are fighting for love for all. Because everyone deserves to be loved.
Despite the number of setbacks we have faced, we have not once considered giving up on this, and nor will we. We will not stop fighting to make this process possible for us, and for other New Zealanders, so that the parentless children of Thailand have a chance to be parented, loved and welcomed into a family.
In amongst all of this negativity and heartbreak, there is beauty, of course. And the most beautiful thing is this: I somehow love a child that I've never even met, nor that I even think exists on this earth yet. And still, I love them so fiercely, that I am willing to fight harder for them than I've ever fought for anything in my life. And when we finally get to meet that child, we will be able to turn to them and say, "we loved you before we even met you, before we even knew your face or your name. We even loved the hope of you." (Note to self: start practicing this in Thai).
And we will be able to honestly and genuinely tell them that they didn't come to us by chance - they came to us by choice. We chose to fight for them, we chose to fall in love with a hope that at times seemed hopeless, and we chose to continue with that fight and that hope, every single day. We chose them, and will continue to choose them, in all of the days to come.
We love you already, sweet child. We have a fire in our bellies for you.
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