An advocate for gratitude lists.

Lately I have noticed myself feeling increasingly irritated, edgy and restless. 

After our months of backpacking around Southeast Asia, we are spending another week in Singapore with family, before settling down into our new hometown. We are in that transition period - treading water if you like, willing time to move faster so that we can arrive in Bangkok with our bank account still intact before falling victim to the outrageously huge and expensive shopping malls scattered on every block here. 

Why am I feeling so agitated and on-edge? Well, I'm not entirely sure I can pinpoint that one. Maybe I'm anxious about our upcoming new life? Maybe I'm sad that I can't go off and spend lots of money on pretty things without having to worry about transporting it all to Bangkok and not getting my first pay-packet until September? Maybe I'm feeling apprehensive about a new school, and it not comparing to the beautiful school I know so well ? Maybe I miss feeling the freedom of travelling through new countries for months on end? Maybe I'm worried that I won't find super nice friends and an amazing church community like the ones I know? Maybe I miss the classroom so much, and THAT'S why I'm like being around a cocaine addict going cold turkey? While these all seem to be likely factors, my money is on the last option. 

When I find my head in a never ending spiral of thoughts, anxieties and frustrations, I know I can turn my focus to what I do know: that I have a lot to be grateful for. Why focus on what you don't have, when you can focus on what you do? And why am I asking so many rhetorical questions today?

I compile a gratitude list everyday - of the things that I am grateful for on that day only. Life really is better taken one day at a time. Some days my list is thought about in a quiet moment over one of many cups of tea (I would love to say coffee, I really would), some days it's thought about in the shower, some days it's spoken out loud to whoever will listen, and some days it's written in my journal. One of the reasons I am such an avid gratituder (yes, this is now an official word. Definition: one who practices gratitude) is because I saw this notion on Facebook one day and its been with me ever since. 

On the particular day that I saw this, I had fallen asleep the night before feeling "too tired to be grateful today." Pfft. 

Today I'm going to share my gratitude list with you all. Oh, you lucky ducks.

Today I am grateful for...

- a selfless husband who shows me that he loves me

- the loving kindness of family who take us in and care for us

- the company of children

- a healthy body

- the opportunity to experience new countries and their cultures

- my beautiful friends back home who reach out to show me they still care despite the distance between us

- knowing that in just over a week I will be one giant step closer to being back to doing what I love

- the gift of acceptance

- knowing that I am not in this game of life alone

Something that has especially been playing on my mind recently is how blessed I am to have a career that I love - a vocation, a calling. Being a teacher is something that I am so proud of. I can truly say that I wouldn't be doing anything else with my life if given the choice.

The importance of doing what I love has become so evident with being in a country that, through research, is allegedly the unhappiest country in the world. I see this unhappiness, and a real lack of emotion towards situations everyday. In a way, I feel more sadness for these people than I do for the homeless and hungry in poverty-stricken countries. I see the emptiness on faces while on public trains and buses. I see the eyes of those longing for happiness and fulfilment while wandering in expensive stores and carrying a number of shopping bags. I wonder if they know that happiness is not something that can be purchased? I hope they find peace. I really do. 

"Love what you do and you'll never work a day in your life."

-Confucius